The Event in Sydney

I was doing a pretty good job of ignoring the Pope – which has been quite tricky really, what with the TV and the newspapers full of images of rapturous children flooding our biggest city and even older people burbling on as publicly as possible about how wonderful to be near him – but three things were harder still to ignore.

One was the hilariously-named Popemobile, making him sound like a mate of Batman, a sort of sedate super-hero in his own right. (Like this.)

Another was this pic a friend sent, with the message: "It could only happen in Australia.......................there's always gotta be one joker!! This photo is legit and was taken at Bondi Beach in Sydney on Friday morning........... may the force be with you!!!"


Unfortunately the third thing that couldn't be ignored was less amusing – a starry-eyed youngster from Alaska was reported in the press as saying that Catholicism was a great religion because of its openness. (I gulped so hard I nearly lost my false teeth.) "We are really accepting," he continued.

WHA-A-A- ? Well as long as you're not hoping to enter into a gay marriage or become a woman priest, of course.